Detour ahead

A few days back I was thinking I needed to update my blog, and I remember thinking that I really didn't have much to add keeping in line with the original theme. So, I started thinking possible ways to re-route, if you will, my blog. Well, today I had an appointment with the gynecologist who would be monitoring me in regards of the effects of Tamoxifen in other parts of my body. As it turns out, it seems I have pre-cancerous cells in my cervix. So the theme stands, unfortunately. • The shock of the news was not a new feeling. It seemed all too familiar, yet I still didn't know what to think. It's interesting how your mind works in situations like these. My brain was defiant: "This is not going to get me. Been here, done that. Cancer is not going to get the best out of me." Yet my body was terrified. "Now, what?" The doctor described the procedure (which is at the hospital but out patient) as coring an apple. "Nice thought," I thought. The good news is that if the margins are clear, I am okay. Sounds familiar? I started to think my body was playing a nasty joke on me. But I am just not in the mood for jokes. Now, I feel like I felt several weeks ago: confused and tired. Very tired. I am still exhausted from the last ordeal and I really don't have much energy to face anything like this, but, I have no choice. I will have to. So, detour ahead.